千文網(wǎng)小編為你整理了多篇相關(guān)的《最滑稽的辭職報(bào)告》,但愿對(duì)你工作學(xué)習(xí)有幫助,當(dāng)然你在千文網(wǎng)還可以找到更多《最滑稽的辭職報(bào)告》。
第一篇:最簡(jiǎn)單的辭職報(bào)告
范文一敬的xx:
自xx年入職以來(lái),我一直很喜歡這份工作,但因某些個(gè)人原因,我要重新確定自己未來(lái)的方向,最終選擇了開(kāi)始新的工作。
希望公司能早日找到合適人手開(kāi)接替我的工作并希望能于今年5月底前正式辭職。如能給予我支配更多的時(shí)間來(lái)找工作我將感激不盡,希望公司理解!在我提交這份辭呈時(shí),在未離開(kāi)崗位之前,我一定會(huì)盡自己的職責(zé),做好應(yīng)該做的事。
最后,衷心的說(shuō):對(duì)不起與謝謝! 祝愿公司開(kāi)創(chuàng)更美好的未來(lái)! 望領(lǐng)導(dǎo)批準(zhǔn)我的申請(qǐng)!并協(xié)助辦理相關(guān)離職手續(xù)。
辭職人:xxx 20xx年x月x日
范文二尊敬的公司領(lǐng)導(dǎo):
我很遺憾在這個(gè)時(shí)候向公司提出辭職,我來(lái)公司也3個(gè)多月了,對(duì)公司以人為本體恤下屬特別是對(duì)我們基層監(jiān)管員的照顧讓我頗為感動(dòng),讓我一度有著找到了依靠的感覺(jué),而今公司正值用人之際,業(yè)務(wù)發(fā)展迅速,但是由于個(gè)人方面的一些問(wèn)題,本人確實(shí)是不得已而為之,由此給公司帶來(lái)的不便還望能夠諒解!我考慮在此辭呈遞交之后的兩周內(nèi)離開(kāi)公司,這樣您將有時(shí)間尋找合適人選來(lái)填補(bǔ)因我離職而造成的空缺,同時(shí)我也能夠協(xié)助您對(duì)新人進(jìn)行入職培訓(xùn),使他盡快熟悉工作。能為公司效力的日子不多了,我一定會(huì)站好自己最后一班崗,與新人做好交接工作,盡力讓項(xiàng)目做到平穩(wěn)過(guò)渡! 我很遺憾不能再為公司輝煌的明天貢獻(xiàn)自己的力量,我只有由衷的祝愿公司業(yè)績(jī)一路飆升! 此致敬禮
范文三尊敬的xx:
我自xx年來(lái)到公司,工作中得到公司和您的培養(yǎng),個(gè)人得到了很大的成長(zhǎng),公司的文化和環(huán)境也令我工作得非常開(kāi)心。
現(xiàn)由于個(gè)人原因,我不得不提出辭職,希望能于x年x月x日正式離職,請(qǐng)公司批準(zhǔn)我的這份辭職書(shū)。并請(qǐng)公司在x月x日前安排好人員接替我的工作,我將盡心交接。
再次對(duì)您x年來(lái)的培養(yǎng)和指導(dǎo)表示衷心的感謝。
第二篇:幽默搞笑的辭職報(bào)告范本
您好!我懷著復(fù)雜的心情寫(xiě)這封辭職信。金融危機(jī)之下,出現(xiàn)了不少解雇現(xiàn)象,但也有不少人主動(dòng)作為,有一封這樣的辭呈,讓受氣的上班族夢(mèng)想哪一天可以開(kāi)除老板,一解怨氣,有興趣者可閱之!
順口溜如下:
老板老板別神氣,我將不再拍馬屁;
因?yàn)槟愠0l(fā)脾氣,經(jīng)常拿我出出氣;微薄薪水真小氣,要求業(yè)績(jī)與壓力;
我是白癡兼奴隸,忍氣吞聲當(dāng)小弟;若非生活有壓力,早就離職與唾棄;
竟然上班沒(méi)波蜜,下班也無(wú)供馬力;聊天不得話(huà)情意,害我嘴巴變麻痹;
加班沒(méi)有維士必,福利也沒(méi)KTV;初一十五要拜祭,也沒(méi)賞賜表心意;
辦公不準(zhǔn)吹冷氣,汗流夾背一滿(mǎn)地;沒(méi)有電腦來(lái)算計(jì),自己大腦當(dāng)機(jī)器;
文具用品都不必,自掏腰包當(dāng)救濟(jì);公司小姐雖美麗,只能觀賞與哭泣;
我想泡妞談天地,因?yàn)槊β禑o(wú)體力;你也不供好藥劑,提神解腦玩床戲;
你常花天與酒地,雖是逢場(chǎng)與作戲;竟然將我來(lái)忘記,令我難咽這口氣;
老板偷奸甜蜜蜜,竟被偷 拍成日記;大家爭(zhēng)相來(lái)傳遞,老婆演出跳樓記;
我是禍?zhǔn)撞灰?guī)避,寫(xiě)真底片已丟棄;你可安心演床戲,今后無(wú)人耍詭計(jì);
我在公司令你氣,不如改行展魄力;辭呈放在你抽屜,求我挽留都不必;
本月薪水別忘記,我會(huì)回來(lái)找會(huì)計(jì)!
第三篇:搞笑辭職報(bào)告
天要下雨,娘要嫁人,生死有命,富貴在天。本來(lái)我想在培養(yǎng)我的××公司里工作終老,但是生活是殘酷的,巨大的生活壓力迫使我抬起頭來(lái),去遙望那碧藍(lán)的天空。這時(shí),我多么羨慕那自由飛翔的小鳥(niǎo),還有那些坐得起飛機(jī)的人啊。每個(gè)月的開(kāi)頭,我會(huì)滿(mǎn)心歡喜的拿著微薄的工資去還上個(gè)月的欠債,每個(gè)月的月中,我為了省錢(qián)會(huì)努力勒緊褲帶,重復(fù)性的,每個(gè)月末,生活的`本色就變成了借錢(qián)和躲債。
人比人,氣死人。這是句俗話(huà),但確實(shí)是亙古不變的真理??粗磉呉粋€(gè)個(gè)兄弟都出國(guó)了,這心里跟火燒似的。看著朋友每月拿著15%的房貼,車(chē)貼,5、6百的取暖費(fèi),萬(wàn)兒八千的獎(jiǎng)金,這心里就琢磨著,這人與人的差距咋就這么大呢?人生數(shù)年,彈指一揮間呀。是的,公司有培訓(xùn),有培養(yǎng)機(jī)制,公司會(huì)盡量把每一位員工培養(yǎng)成為有理想,有道德,有文化,有紀(jì)律的四有新人,工資會(huì)漲的,面包會(huì)有的,可俺就看不明白,咋你們培養(yǎng)我就要3年5載地,人家咋不用培養(yǎng)就收了俺呢,俺還有多少年來(lái)給你培養(yǎng)?到時(shí)候,黃花菜都涼嘍。人家咋就看得起俺,給俺錢(qián)吶?
龍入淺水遭蝦戲,虎落平陽(yáng)被犬欺啊。佛曰:一枯一榮,皆有定數(shù)。圣經(jīng)上說(shuō):欠著我的,我會(huì)記下。梁朝偉說(shuō):出來(lái)混,總歸是要還的。主席說(shuō):哪里有壓迫,哪里就有反抗。小平**說(shuō):貧窮不是社會(huì)主義。電視上也說(shuō):要爽,靠自己。因此本人因?yàn)閭€(gè)人原因,決定離開(kāi)已經(jīng)服務(wù)多年的××公司。請(qǐng)求領(lǐng)導(dǎo)批準(zhǔn)。
此致
敬禮!
辭職人:xx
辭職時(shí)間:xx年xx月xx日
第四篇:搞笑諷刺述職報(bào)告
搞笑諷刺述職報(bào)告 一年來(lái),在各位領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的支持和培養(yǎng)下,在各位老干部的幫助下,在辦公室同仁的共同協(xié)作下,協(xié)調(diào)了大大小小的事務(wù),安排了大大小小的會(huì)議,撰寫(xiě)了大大小小的材料,迎接了大大小小的領(lǐng)導(dǎo),通過(guò)了大大小小的檢查,開(kāi)展了大大小小的工作,無(wú)論在思想上還是工作方法上都有了很大進(jìn)步,在對(duì)待和處理問(wèn)題上也逐步趨向全面化。 一年的工作簡(jiǎn)單總結(jié)如下:
吃過(guò)飯,陪過(guò)酒,領(lǐng)導(dǎo)面前出過(guò)丑; 斗過(guò)嘴、置過(guò)氣,工作干得更仔細(xì); 熬過(guò)夜、加過(guò)班兒,臉上常年黑眼圈兒; 寫(xiě)過(guò)文兒、掙過(guò)錢(qián)兒,宣傳報(bào)道出過(guò)名兒; 挨過(guò)罵、評(píng)過(guò)優(yōu),但愿來(lái)年好彩頭。
第五篇:蕩秋千作文
傍晚,太陽(yáng)快落山了,外面涼快了一點(diǎn),我和弟弟到樓下蕩秋千。
以前樓下只有小樹(shù)林中間有座滑滑梯,最近在北面的草地上又多了一架秋千。一個(gè)秋千架上左右有兩個(gè)秋千,一個(gè)紅色,一個(gè)黃色的。秋千很大,是很粗很粗的鐵管和鐵鏈做的,蕩起來(lái)很穩(wěn)很穩(wěn)。
弟弟選了紅色秋千,我蕩黃色的。坐上秋千,我往后退幾步,踮起腳尖,突然雙腳離地抬起向前使勁一用力,自己就蕩了起來(lái)。我覺(jué)得秋千有點(diǎn)小型“海盜船”的感覺(jué),很好玩。蕩了幾次我就摸到了規(guī)律,雙腳配合著秋千一前一后的節(jié)奏一會(huì)兒向上抬,一會(huì)兒向后鉤。不需要媽媽在后面推,我就越蕩越高,風(fēng)在耳邊呼呼地響,感覺(jué)自己就像鳥(niǎo)兒一樣在空中飛翔,自由自在,妙不可言。
弟弟蕩著蕩著就越來(lái)越低,看著我高高地飛起,他著急地說(shuō):“媽媽?zhuān)?,推!”媽媽站在弟弟斜后方,用力一推,弟弟也飛了起來(lái)。我們倆就像兩只大鳥(niǎo),在空中來(lái)回地飛翔,小區(qū)的上空留下了我們歡樂(lè)的笑聲。我抬頭望向天空,明亮的月光照耀著我,仿佛跟我一起享受這快樂(lè)的時(shí)光。
時(shí)間過(guò)得飛快,奶奶喊我們吃飯了,我們戀戀不舍地跳下秋千回家去。
第六篇:最搞笑的英文滑稽表演劇本
The bank
Scene: The manager’s office in a bank
Characters: Miss D. Posit, the bank manager
Monica, Miss Posit’s secretary
Mr. Moore, a customer
A bank robber
Miss Posit is sitting at her desk. The robber comes in suddenly
Robber: Nobody move!
Posit: Of course, I am professional. When I am working, I never move around.
Robber: Read this.
Posit: “Three tomatoes, four eggs and two cans of Coca-Cola.” You can get out, turn right, there is a Wal-mart. You will get what you want there.
Robber: Oh, thanks.
(The robber turns back and goes out.)
Monica brings Mr. Moore in.
Monica: Mr. Moore.
Miss Posit: Good morning, Mr. Moore.
Mr. Moore: Good morning.
Miss Posit: Thank you, Monica.
Monica leaves the office.
Miss Posit: Do sit down, Mr. Moore.
Mr. Moore: Thank you.
He sits down.
Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Moore, the situation is like this. You account is overdrawn. ¥10,000 overdrawn.
Mr. Moore: Oh, good.
He takes out his credit cards and shows them to the manager.
Miss Posit: Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, if you use your credit cards, you’ll be overdrawn more, Mr. Moore.
The robber comes back again with a bag of grocery at hand.
Robber: Nobody move!
Miss Posit: Can I help you?
Robber: That’s better. You-
Mr. Moore: Me?
Robber: Yes. Read this.
He gives Mr. Moore a note.
Mr. Moore: Oh. OK. Er… (Reading) “Three tomatoes, four eggs…”
Robber: No, no, no. The other side this time.
Mr. Moore: Oh, sorry. Er…(Reading) “Give me all your…h(huán)oney, or I’ll kiss you.”
Robber: Not kiss-kill!
Mr. Moore: Oh. Er…Miss Posit. I think this is for you.
He gives the note to Miss Posit.
Miss Posit: (Reading) “Give me all your money, or I’ll kill you.” I see. Would you sit down for a moment?
Robber: Sit down?
Miss Posit: Yes. I am very busy at the moment. Please sit over there.
Robber: But-
Miss Posit: I’ll be with you in a moment.
The robber sits down.
Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Moore. You spend twice as much as you earn.
Mr. Moore: But I earn ¥5000 a month.
Robber: Excuse me!
Miss Posit: Yes!
Robber: I make ¥50,000 a month.
Miss Posit: Really? Would you like to sit here?
Robber: Thank you.
Miss Posit: Mr. Moore, would you sit over there for a moment.
The robber and Mr. Moore change places.
Miss Posit: Tell me… where do you keep this money?
Robber: Here, in this bag.
He puts a large bag full of money on the desk.
Miss Posit: Oh, oh, yes. Very nice. Um…would you like to open an account, Mr…?
Robber: Robber.
Miss Posit: Well, just excuse me one moment, Mr. Robber. I’ll ask Monica to get the necessary papers.
Robber: Certainly.
Miss Posit leaves the office.
Mr. Moore: Excuse me…
Robber: Yes?
Mr. Moore: You make ¥50,000 a month.
Robber: Yes.
Mr. Moore: How do you do it?
Robber: I rob banks.
Mr. Moore: Oh, I see. You rob banks and steal the money.
Robber: Yes.
Mr. Moore: How do you do it?
Robber: It’s easy. First, you need a mask.
Mr. Moore: Oh, nice, I have got one.
Robber: Well, then you take a gun-
Mr. Moore: I haven’t got a gun.
Robber: Oh…well, borrow mine.
Mr. Moore: Thank you very much.
Robber: You take a gun and you take a note.
Mr. Moore: Oh, yes, the note. That’s very good. I like that. (Reading) “Three tomatoes, four eggs-”
Robber: The other side!
Mr. Moore: Oh yes. (Reading) “Give me all you honey, or I’ll kiss you!”
Robber: “Money” and “kill”!
Mr. Moore: Oh, yes.
Robber: You wear a mask, take the note, go into the bank, and put the note on the bank manager’s desk.
Mr. Moore: Is that all?
Robber: Yes.
Mr. Moore: I see.
Monica comes back with papers.
Monica: Ah, yes. Now, Mr. Robber-
Mr. Moore: Give me all your honey…money, or I’ll kiss…kill you.
Monica: (Scared) Money, Mr. Moore? Certainly. Take this bag.
She gives Mr. Moore the robber’s bag.
Mr. Moore: Oh, thank you. That was easy.
Robber: Yes, but-
Monica: Mr. Moore, your account is still ¥10,000 overdrawn.
Mr. Moore: Oh, yes. Well…um…Here you are.
He gives here ¥10,000 from the robber’s bag.
Mr. Moore: ¥1000, ¥2000, ¥3000, ¥4000-
Robber: But…but…
Monica: Thank you. Mr. Moore.
Mr. Moore: Goodbye.
Mr. Moore leaves.
Miss Posit: Now, Mr. Robber, here is your account…
Robber: But…But…But…
Monica: Mr. Robber, Mr. VIP, Here is my telephone number, My name is Monica…
Robber: Just a minute! I think something’s gone wrong. Hey, you! Come back! Bring back my money-and my gun! Come back!
He runs after Mr. Moore.
Monica: Hey, don’t forget to call me.